Hearts, Chocolates & Champagne

I absolutely love Valentine’s Day, it is one of my most favorite holidays. The chemistry, giddy and sweetness of love is one the greatest mysteries I have experienced. Many only celebrate Valentine’s Day if they are connected with a partner or companion. Let me encourage you to take time today to love yourself.

There is much chatter on the subject of self-love, but what is it? It is the powerful bridge that creates a pathway leading from anxiety and discontentment to the destination of happiness, peace, and contentment. What looks like contentment and what is contentment has a vast contrast.

When I first toss out the question, “What do you do for yourself to represent self-love?” my first thought is, “Girl, get on the phone and schedule that massage at the spa!” Then I think a little deeper, a massage is good for the moment, but what has a lasting purpose? Self-love can be simple, yet the effort to get there can be a treacherous journey. Let’s give it a shot.

1. Surround yourself with encouragement

Place yourself in an environment of encouraging, positive people. You must be surrounded with compliments, not criticism. Your soul will ignite.

2. Understand who you are

Take the time to understand who you really are; this is not determined by your hometown, your parents’ dreams, others’ expectations, but the person you were meant to be. Your story may not be a big contrast, but open your mind long enough to think about it. “Who are you?”

3. Make time for you

Doesn’t matter if you are an introvert or an extravert, you need time for you. You need friends that remember why they fell in love with you and will sprinkle a little “emotional fertilizer” on you so you can be the biggest and the best you. You need to make time to do what you love: run, paint, garden, hunt, sing, read, or play golf — you pick it. This is not a ticket to neglect others, but to enjoy the time to a level that replenishes you.

4. Seek security

You must have a safe and protective environment. Many make assumptions from “first-glance” observations that most everyone is covered here, and many times you are absolutely wrong. It has nothing to do with a big house sitting in a nice neighborhood resting in a beautiful city. It’s about being nurtured and applauded in a consistent, reliable environment. It is someone or a “community” that has your back! I’m talking about someone who really will go to fight for you like a Mama Bear when her cubs are in danger. Take a moment and look around to see if you have a “Mama Bear.” Surprising enough, my guess would be most do not. We must reevaluate our “community” and connect with those that will protect us, and likewise, we will take a stand to protect them.

5. Make your health a priority

In most cases, not all, the happiest people are healthiest people. There seems to be a connection. I see people now that are not healthy and I don’t think, “Look how out of shape they are,” I say to myself, “Look how wounded their heart must be!” I’m not saying stop eating the “Twinkie” and your hearts will be mended, I am suggesting start working on your heart and the “Twinkie” will not be your thing. You deserve to be healthy!

6. Search for laughter

Laughter is a medicine for soul energy. Surround yourself with laughter. Have coffee with your funniest friend, see a funny movie, or visit the zoo to watch the monkeys. You pick, just seek laughter.

7. Define true friends

Who are those friends that when you leave their presence you are fulfilled and you can’t wait to see them again. Write those names down and when it is time to socialize, call them first.

8. Set extra activities aside

Remove all the “extras” from your schedule that make you too tired or busy to care for yourself, distracts you from listening to your children, having a cup of coffee with your closest friends, making your bed, or invading intimate time with your partner. I have seen many volunteers that are doing great projects and they sign-up for everything. Some get engaged to be noticed or have a community, others because it is a valued project that matches their passions. Regardless, put it aside temporarily. Take a break for three to six months and add back to your life the few things you really want to do. We get in a ball of twine and stay all tangled in the “busy” and don’t stop to determine what is really important and what your life can handle as an extra. Nourish you and your immediate family and then determine how much time you have to do the extras. Make decisions that capture your valuable time intentionally.

9. Quit controlling the world

Stop for a moment and think about a concept that defines you as part of the world, not the center of the world. You just may be better off if you enjoy your “world,” relax, and let everyone play his or her own role in their “world.” You might be surprised where it can take you.

10. Don’t repeat the same patterns

Go to different places and seek different activities. Be adventurous! “Wing it” sometimes and enrich yourself with change! Life may offer more variety and excitements than you are allowing yourself.

11. Eat chocolate, sip fine champagne, and celebrate loving you!

Enjoy!